This little girl has taught me so much in the past 4 months. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I had no idea what I was getting into! Who knew someone without the ability to speak or act with purpose could make such a huge impact.
The moment Maya was born, she taught me that
My Heart is Capable of Instant Unconditional Love
I knew I was about to experience a different kind of love, but there are no words to explain it. It's pure and perfect. There's nothing like those initial minutes when you realize that your life has changed forever. That this perfect little innocent being relies on you alone and it's up to you to fulfill her every want and need. I was in a fog of pure delight, nothing could be better!
The honeymoon only lasted so long and soon I was in the sleep deprived land of feedings, diaper changes and crying...lots of crying. There's no sugar coating that the first few weeks (and months) were tough! Maya taught me how to
Find Inner Strength to Persevere
when I just wanted to sleep!
Soon, my body got used to the lack of sleep and we found our routine. Things started to get a little easier...or at least they got more familiar!
Unfortunately, the only way for Maya to fall asleep was in our arms. She turned into a very light sleeper and would easily wake when we tried to lay her down. I had to wait until she was in a deep sleep before I attempted any crib transfer maneuvers. This often took up to 45 minutes or more! At 3:00 in the morning, while I pace her room, near tears because I'm so tired and my last two attempts of laying her down failed, Maya teaches me
Patience and That It's No Longer About What I Want or Need!
Now, the world as I know it suddenly revolves around Maya. Sure, we say we won't let our babies take over and we honestly try to be flexible! It's so easy to assume we can just make them fit into our lifestyle. Ha...all the things I thought I knew! I'll be honest...I was probably pretty judge-y before I had Maya. I didn't understand why some parents seemed so uptight about schedules, where their kids napped, what they ate...I haven't had to deal with it all yet, but I definitely have a new perspective. Maybe it's different for some people and they can continue with life as it always was...I hate those people I'm happy for those people. They say some babies are "easy"...Maya is just not one of them!
But at the end of the day, I wouldn't change a thing about her (well, maybe I'd tweak a few things...maybe). I love so much just the way she is. Sure, there are times she drives me a little nuts, but she's a perfect little creation, just the way He planned. And knowing how much I love her despite all her "not so perfect" qualities, gives me a new appreciation for
God's love
And that's the best lesson so far. Experiencing the love I feel for Maya and knowing that God loves us, His children, even more, despite all of our "not so perfect" qualities (and there are plenty!), is amazing. I feel so blessed and so thankful.
I look forward to all the lessons this little girl will teach me over the years. I'm know there are many more to come!
